Hopefully this checklist will better explain the domestic adoption process we're beginning. I've had lots of questions- "Do you have to "re-do" your homestudy?"... Yes. "What is the expected wait?"... Can vary really widely and we don't have a good answer. It's intimidating to type all this out and think, eventually one day, all this will come to pass. It's scary to think about a failed match or any other bumps that may come up.
1. FINISHED- Attend Orientation Meeting. This is a two hour event to educate us on the agency and process.
Time: Occurs monthly (attended on 1/15/13)
2. FINISHED- Fill out Preliminary Application and pay initial $50 application fee.
Time: Can fill out once loaded to online portal (mailed on 1/25/13 and approved on 1/31/13)
3. FINISHED- Fill out Formal Application and pay $900 application fee.
Time: Can fill out once preliminary application is approved (submitted on 2/12/13 and approved on 2/22/13)
4. FNISHED- Begin training to include online trainings and reading books
Time: Once formal application is approved (submitted documentation on 3/27/13)
5. FINISHED- Begin homestudy process to include home walk-though, couples interview, and individual interview. We will have to gather most of the same type of documents and do the same things we did for our previous home study to include financial information, references, medical exam, fingerprinting, etc. We will be working with an adoptive parent worker (expectant parents have their own worker).
Time: Once formal application is approved. This process should last about 6 weeks. ( home walk through on 3/19/13, submitted documentation on 3/27/13)
6. FINISHED- Meet with social worker to discuss type of situations we are open to (locations/states, drug exposure, health situations, race, gender, etc). Also we will decide on how much openness in the adoption we are open to (ongoing visits and contact). Our agency has a minimum requirement of monthly pictures and updates for the first year and then quarterly pictures and updates until age three. All of this is called a "service plan".
Time: Concurrent with the homestudy process (developed on 4/10/13)
7. FINISHED- Develop a profile book and online profile. The profile book will be a photobook with information and pictures about us. When an expectant parent comes into the office, she/they will meet with their expectant parent worker and review all profile books that match the situation (which families are open to what their situation is). The expectant parent is in full control of what family she/they select. We will also make an online profile so if an expectant mother in another state doesn't find a family out of their office or wants to place in another geographical area, they can do an online search.
Time: Concurrent with the homestudy process (turned in books and submitted online profile on 4/16/13)
8. Our homestudy (again, like a book report on our family discussing our history, relationship, health, finances, home, intentions, etc) will be approved. Once it is approved, we will become a "waiting family". This means our profile book can begin to be shown. We will pay $5,000 at this time to pay for our homestudy and to go towards a fund to help expectant parents with physical needs, bills, and to provide counseling. All adoptive parents pay into one fund, and with that money, any expectant parents who comes to the agency, whether they place or not, can be served.
Time: Because the expectant parent is in control of which family she/they select, we could be in the waiting period for a few months to a few years. Our agency does not tell us when our profile is shown (so no let downs to "nos") but when an expectant parent selects us, we will have an opportunity to get all the known details of the situation and say "yes" or "no". Our agency's shortest wait was a couple of weeks and longest wait was 4 years. There is currently a 2:1 ratio meaning they have twice as many waiting families as they make placements per year. This is actually a good ratio compared to other agencies I have looked into.
9. This is where things can branch into many directions. The expectant parent gets to decide whether they want to meet us. The majority chose to meet the potential adoptive parents ahead of time. The meeting usually happens at the agency office and the agency workers are present, as well.
Time: This can occur early on in the pregnancy or even once the baby has already been born, depending on when the mother turns to the agency. Our agency's average time for a match is when the mother is 7 months along.
10. After birth, the baby is placed with us. We may or may not be present in the hospital at the birth, depending on the timeline, the birth mother's wishes, and even if it is in another state. At this point, we pay our remaining agency fees (amount TBD depending on when this occurs since our fee is dependent on past 3 years' income).
Time: Upon hospital discharge
11. At this point, the birth parents' rights are still intact. The birth mother will go to the courthouse about a week after birth and sign a voluntary TPR (termination of parental rights). This is not final until 10 days after signed. During this period, the birth mother can change her mind (I was happy to note our agency has had only 1 revocation out of about 100 adoptions in the past 5 years) . The birth father may go sign the same papers, as well (same revocation period), or he may have signed a waiver of parental rights before birth (no revocation period). If the father is unknown or cannot be located, the agency will have to publish an ad in the newspaper and have a court date to involuntarily terminate his parental rights.
Time: About 17 days-several months, depending on the circumstances
12. Keep in mind, that the process described in #11 only happens if the baby we are matched with is born in TN. Every state has their own laws. Some states let the birth mother sign in the hospital and there is no revocation period. Most states do have revocation periods but they vary widely from a few days up to a month. Also keep in mind that if we go to another state, there is a federal law called ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children) that applies. Due to this, we cannot cross state lines with a baby until given approval by the respective state.
Time: Several weeks
13. At any time in this process until the parents' rights are terminated, they are able to change their mind and regain custody of the baby. They can also, obviously, change their mind even before the birth. If this happens, we will return to step #8, waiting for a match.
Time: Several weeks to several months, as described above
14.Once the parents' rights are terminated, whether voluntarily or involuntarily, the baby will remain with us although it will then be in the legal custody of the agency. The agency will visit us three times during the first 6 months. TN law allows for adoption finalizations only after the child has been in your home 6 months. So, at 6 months, we will find an attorney (this part is separate from the agency and is an additional cost) to file a petition to adopt in the county we live in.
Time: Six months from birth
15. Finalization happens in court. Once this occurs, the baby is permanently our child. We will get a birth certificate with our names listed and a new SSN. As the judge always said in adoptions I was apart of in my previous job, they are fully apart of your family, down to having the right to inherit property. It's permanent and final (despite "Lifetime Movie" depictions) as long as there was no coercion (eg: exchanging money with birth parent) and fraud (eg: hiding things from birth father).
Time: Hopefully only a couple of weeks after filing a petition to adopt
