5 Months of Waiting

Silence. No updates. Our $110 worth of photobooks that I put easily 100 hours into making haven't even been cracked open.

I am always looking at ways to expand and network. However, that becomes a gamble. There are agencies and law firms we could list with secondary to our primary agency. Some don't even require an application fee. However, each one comes with an individualized system with chances of potentially losing thousands of dollars with failed matches. Some may not be ethical. Some don't treat expectant parents right. Some are in states whose laws conflict with TN. We can adopt from another state but TN still has to approve the way things were done in that state before we could even cross the state line back home.

I trust that our agency treats expectant parents right. They're not trying to scam us. They are non-profit so we will not lose a great deal in failed matches. However, they are making very few placements this year, and more and more families get added to the website of waiting families.

I am a go-getter. I am not used to sitting back. I am accustomed to doing whatever I need to in order to get where I want to be. It's not that easy with adoption... especially if I don't have an unlimited bank account and I don't want to coerce a child away from someone.

Situation #1

We found out about a last-minute situation of a one year old in Florida and overnighted our application in this weekend. We weren't selected and there is a question if our homestudy would be valid for this situation.

We are getting a home study addendum to open up our criteria of situations we are "officially" open to, though. Maybe this is bad of me for not already knowing this, but when we told our agency what situations we are open to, that actually becomes a part of the homestudy so we are not "home study approved" for any situation outside those parameters. I guess I never paid that close of attention to our homestudy (oops!) and thought it was just something agency-specific to help them guide matching. It's actually pretty binding, and the world of adoption doesn't slow down to wait for the paperwork to catch up.

So, at least after nearly five months, we have finally been considered for a situation. It didn't work out, but I can be happy because I only want to walk through open doors. I know this may not be the best theology, but all the major paths in my life have resulted in disappointing closed doors only to have an open door come with something much better.

Love

"The Child Exchange"

Adoption was in the news in a major way last week. The article is frightening and appalling.

When reading the article, please take it in context. Remember that many adoptions turn out well, and for those that do not, a disruption can still be handled appropriately and ethically. Many adoptive families, especially those who adopted internationally, are not fully informed or not equipped to parent the children they adopt. Attachment issues and history of trauma are not something to be taken casually. Love is crucial but by itself is not always enough. Education prior to an adoption and adequate support services after an adoption are so important.

My To-Do List for Today...