Yay and Nay: Birth-Newborn

I got a million different types of advice while pregnant and since I became a mom. Not that I am an expert by any means, but I love reading recommendation type of posts to get ideas. Take it for what it's worth. Here are some of my Yays. Nays will come in a separate post.

Postpartum
My postpartum nurses sucked. Other than offering me a pain pill and bringing me a glass of ice water, I was pretty much on my own (to their defense it was insanely busy). Thankfully, my sister ensured I had a few tricks to help things along.

Ice

Ask for some upon getting to postpartum room. It doesn't have to be fancy. A glove filled with ice cubes will do. Just get something frozen to help with the swelling. I just put it on top of my huge hospital pad.

A supply basket

I kept a dollar store bucket on the back of my toilet at home, stocked with helpful items. My go-to's were T.ucks pads (line them along pad- moisture is your friend when you have stitches), E.arth Mama Angel Baby spray (very soothing and the bottle sprays even at an angle), and a simple squirt bottle (fill with warm to hot water to rinse everything off- do this first thing after using the restroom- before applying other products). I kept my pads, mesh panties and extra toilet paper in the bucket, too.  

Support system 

If you have helpful people in your life, take advantage of them. I can't describe how much better I felt with just a 1-2 hour nap while someone sat at my house and held baby boy. I didn't cook for several weeks because family and my small group at church brought over food (setting up a meal coordination site helps plan things out so meals can be spread every few days and so you have a variety of things). 

Newborn

P.andora 

Lullabies. Kids music. It can travel anywhere in the house with you via your smart phone. My two favorite kids stations are R.ain for Roots and R.affi. 

H.appiest Baby on the Block

Never underestimate the power of shh'ing, swaddling, and a good ol paci. We love the S.hh Baby Shh app for when your mouth gets exhausted. Baby boy was never picky about a paci so he uses a soothie with a w.ubbanub (makes it hard to loose the paci and it stays in the mouth better having a stuffed animal attached). We never found a flawless swaddle so I don't have a recommendation. The one we liked the best was a.den + anais but baby boy still was able to break the swaddle several times a night (he wakes up several times a night, too, so we would just reswaddle). H.alos didn't hold him at all.

A.ngelcare bath support
Doesn't get mildewy. Is the perfect angle to wash baby whether in the sink (what we did when baby boy was really small) or in the tub (what we do now- you can fill tub with an inch or two of water and rinse with a cup OR use showerhead). By far the most superior tub.

P.ottery Barn Hooded Towels
By far the fluffiest and most absorbent. They make washcloths, too! 

Bottle washing routine
I put a large glass bowl in one side of the kitchen sink. I put empty, disassembled bottles in there as I use them. Once I have the bowl full, I fill it with hot water, regular blue D.awn soap, and a couple splashes of white vinegar (it really helps cut the film). Then obviously rinse with hot water and dry on a rack. I'm surprised at how quickly parts can get moldy if they're not well dried.

Backpack diaper bag
I got a P.etunia Picklebottom backpack bag at consignment- best consignment purchase ever! It has so much room, a good amount of pockets, is wipeable, and the version I have- abundance boxy backpack- comes with built in changing pad (just unvelcro it). It's nice to have a backpack because it keeps you hands-free.

B.oba
Speaking of hands-free- you can shop, go to church, take a walk. Baby is snuggly and happy. The B.oba is easy to put on and comfortable. It has pockets for phone and debit card and a spot to clip keys. It really is worth every dollar and is a wise investment. 


[These are just my opinions. None of the links are affiliate, and I am not paid to post any of this.]

My Story

"No one here has a story quite like ours", I thought.

Baby boy lay contently in his B.oba while I stood near the edge of the crowd of people waiting for their loved ones to get off the plane. 

We had a small sign to welcome her. I scanned all around. Then, there she was. 

His genetic mom. The person who, in part, brought his little soul to the earth. And who made sure he had the opportunity to live and be in a family when he couldn't do so with her. 

It only took a few minutes to feel like I was with a friend. Even though it was nearly midnight, baby boy was right there with me, so he could be right there with her. I took him out of the B.oba when we got to the luggage claim and placed him in her arms. This sweet little blessing with the woman who, nearly 7 years ago, did shots and appointments to form him as an embryo. 

I know she loves him. He's not her son but more than a nephew. She's not just a donor. That's so cold. There are no words in the English language. In a way adoption. But my body nourished and built him. 

He looks like her. 

We spent three full days together. She was able to feed him. Rock him. Meet his extended family and visit our church and see where he might go to school. 

Before she came, she told me she wasn't sure if this trip would be a "hello" or a "goodbye". 

By the time she left, I was planning when baby boy and I would board a plane to go meet the rest of his "Oregon family". 

Openness is scary. 

She's the bravest person I know- to fly across the country and enter into the home of essentially strangers,alone, and in an emotional situation. But we both opened our hearts to each other. 

We both want baby boy to grow up knowing how loved and wanted he is by both families. I think we are doing all that's in our power to make it apparent to him. 

And a bonus- she's a friend, too. She's an experienced mom who can give me tips. We really have a lot in common. God's plans are funny like that. I wouldn't say we haphazardly chose their family, but there was a lot less thought and hope by that point. 

It all makes more and more sense. He is ours, made possible by a sacrificial gift. This was our story all along, even when we weren't sure we'd ever be parents. Even when our bank account kept dropping and I thought I couldn't do another shot. 

My heart couldn't be more grateful. 

{Note- I realize many reading have closed donations. I don't think my experience is superior in any way. It's works for us and for our donors and we both pray eventually for baby boy. But there are many paths, each beautiful in their own way. So I hope this isn't hurtful to those without openness}.

Life

I've been busy lately, but there's still plenty to write about, even now that baby boy is here. 

His genetic mom came to visit. She even stayed with us! We are heading out West at the end of the month to stay with her (and the rest of his genetic family!). 

I never would have envisioned this unfolding story. It's so beautiful, even in the pain. More to come on this. 

And now we're at the beach. We've had this trip planned since I was only a couple of months pregnant. I've had plenty of time to envision him experiencing it. 

Showing him the sunrise. He was wide eyed!