At a Cross Road

I finally have more of an update...

Obviously there are pros and cons to any decision we make (international adoption, domestic adoption on our own, domestic adoption through an agency, foster care). Going into this, we both fully expected to do domestic adoption through an agency. We met with two, and they both had a lot of advantages over other local agencies, such as being on a sliding scale (although that still means a cost of about $15,000-$23,000 for our income level!) and not doing "pass through" costs (this means that if you get "matched" and pay fees, then the birth parent(s) change their mind and decide to parent, you are not out the fees you paid). 

But... one agency has a high ratio of waiting families to placements which means it can take quite awhile to get a match. Also, they were encouraging us to get our home study through them and then branch out and work with out of state agencies at the same time. This can lead to a lot of financial risk and the potential to have to travel out of state and stay there several weeks before being authorized to leave- which we don't want to do. The other agency is having major budget reductions and laid off two employees this month. We don't want to invest our savings into a situation like this, either.

So, we are starting the process to become foster parents. The first step is taking a series of weekly classes. We're signed up, and they start this coming week. Given my background, we know the risks this entails. There is little financial risk but there is plenty of emotional risk. Talking with a wise friend made me realize there is plenty of emotional risk with being a parent, period. You can have a miscarriage or stillbirth. Your child can die of SIDS or cancer or in a car wreck. Even if we adopted domestically, birth parents have ten days to revoke their surrender (and this ten days doesn't usually start until at least a week after the birth).

D and I are going into this with the understanding eventually whatever child is meant to permanently be apart of our family will come to us. Whether that is the first child we take care of or not, we will love anyone placed with us. I know it would be a huge loss for a child to return home after x amount of time in our home, but I also know we have plenty of loving and supportive people in our lives to be there for us. And, I believe if we've been led here, we will have what we need to get through it.