Redemption

One year ago, I was in the darkest time of my life. I couldn't even pray. I didn't understand. My heart was black. 

I have thought about it a lot lately but haven't had a chance to express myself til now because I've been busy feeding a baby and changing his diapers and snuggling him. 

Redemption. 

He's worth everything. 

There's so much pain and sacrifice and struggle til this point. It really came to a head exactly a year ago. 

And here he is. 

I had a hard time bonding with him before he got here. I don't care about genetics but wondered what it would be like looking at an unfamiliar face (all the other babies I've met have had familiarities- he has his mom's nose or she has her dad's lips). 

The second he was placed on my chest, he looked into my eyes. Yeah I was high on adrenaline. But it was a spiritual moment. I almost can't explain it. I knew him. He knew me. It seemed like I had seen him before. He was familiar. When I hold him, he fits just right. 

Obviously our bond will only grow, but I love him already. Not just oh he's cute, infatuated love. We complete each other.