I don't know.
I try to explain the barriers, and somehow they seem smaller when I hear myself saying them aloud.
What if there is a way to make this work?
But there isn't. There can't be.
Am I being selfish? Selfish to try to make something work I shouldn't? Selfish to withhold from another family? Do you see the circle in my head. It's like a dog chasing its tail, and it never ends.
"Perfect love casts out all fears". (1 John 4:18)
These things keep coming up.
Last time, I was looking for signs. My eyes scoured for them, day and night. Any indication that this was finally "it". That things would work out after all. I am not looking for them this time, but they seem to come, if I am honest with myself.
My stomach is in knots.
But there isn't. There can't be.
Am I being selfish? Selfish to try to make something work I shouldn't? Selfish to withhold from another family? Do you see the circle in my head. It's like a dog chasing its tail, and it never ends.
"Perfect love casts out all fears". (1 John 4:18)
These things keep coming up.
Last time, I was looking for signs. My eyes scoured for them, day and night. Any indication that this was finally "it". That things would work out after all. I am not looking for them this time, but they seem to come, if I am honest with myself.
My stomach is in knots.
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