Tired

Every day, there's something else to do. Yesterday, it was that I got a letter from my insurance about one of the medications and how I need to switch it to another pharmacy so they'll cover it. Although I don't think the coverage is very much, every bit counts, so I will explore that.

Today, it is that our homestudy with addendum was received by the reviewing agency (yay!), but now there's a big pickle since our homestudy expires right before the transfer. Unless we can get something worked out, this may delay us until July.

Two months isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things, but it is when the process to have a child has drug on so long, and we don't even know if the transfer will work. It is when my career depends on things like making sure I have maternity leave and FMLA. It is when every day is a limbo between a birthmom may pick us and place her child, or may pick us then change her mind, or maybe we will transfer an embryo and it will result in a pregnancy, and maybe we will transfer and it won't. That we can't take a vacation or fix up around our house because we need to save money. That we need to continue saving what we can because if this transfer doesn't work, we will need a plan. That we still don't have a child. That we have an empty nursery and no children to celebrate holidays with and no children to bring to friends' children's birthday parties.

I don't want to have a pity party. I am blessed in so many ways. I trust God knows what is best for us.

But I am tired!