Rollarcoaster

Today has been a rollarcoaster. I started the day by heading to the nearest fertility clinic, feeling very optimistic. A 40 minute drive was over an hour in rush hour traffic. An overwhelming sense of dread came as I took the elevator from the parking garage to the clinic. All I associate this office with is disappointment.

It's never fun to get an ultrasound at the fertility clinic. But, how else will they know if the medication is working? The local fertility clinic forwarded my results to NEDC, so I didn't know the official interpretation right away, but I knew the results that my uterine lining was 6.9 mm didn't sound too good. I felt paralyzed on the drive to get my blood drawn and then the drive back to work. I don't understand why this has to be so hard. We just want a child. Just one. We're not picky on gender or how they come to us or what they look like. Is that so much to ask?

There was a problem with my blood draw- I got it done at my employer so it would be covered... but apparently they only do estrogen levels as a send out. I found this out hours after giving the blood, after multiple phone calls to the lab.

By this point, I could've blown a gasket. What will my measurement mean? What will happen now that my bloodwork results will take 2 days instead of 2 hours?? I got a call from NEDC- the estrace worked, but not as well as my doctor would like (wants at least 8 mm). He is confident in the real cycle, he can increase my medication and get a better response. I guess this is why they do "mock" cycles ahead of time.

To add to the highs and lows, I went to pick up my progesterone from the pharmacy, got stuck in the drive through for 45 minutes, and when I finally got to the window, their system was down, so I have to go back in the morning. (Now, I start taking oral progesterone for 5 days along with the estrogen. Then, I will be back to birth control pills til April). 

To keep me busy until then, we are due for our homestudy update (and ASAP, since it needs to be updated before we can be matched with embryos, apparently). So we have the pleasure of filling out more forms and redoing fingerprints, physicals, drug screens, tb skin tests. More errands. More work to prove we deserve to be parents. And, of course, more money.

Clockwise from left: 

I love the interstate to be a parking lot on the way to the doctor.

A trip to the "big city" for my monitoring appointment (view from the parking garage).

Blood tubes- yikes!

My view for 45 minutes. Maybe they can give me the v.alium for the transfer a little early!