This time last year, I knew I was pregnant but didn't know further details. That didn't turn out too well. A year later, I am days away from (God willing) meeting my baby. A different baby, but apparently the baby meant for me. I am making some progress towards labor, so more waiting for now and possibly an induction next week but at least an end of pregnancy in sight.
My nerves have settled a lot about giving birth and all the dynamics around that (mostly being in a facility and with a practice that wasn't my first choice but is my only option). I'm letting it go and trying to believe it will all be okay. It's out of my control. I've taken the best care of myself I know how, and being on this side of everything I have been through the past year, I have more mental strength than I ever knew.
I am grateful for aspects of pregnancy, but I will be relieved for it to end. Not because it's uncomfortable to be 39 weeks pregnant but because I just want my baby here safely. I want to look at him instead of hearing the dreaded doppler. I want to hold him instead of looking at toilet paper expecting blood. I want to (God willing) stay very far away from doctors offices as much as possible (yes he will get shots and check ups, but I pray for health over my whole family in this next season). I'm ready to leave the trauma behind and ENJOY what I have been blessed with.
I am also excited to see how our relationship with our loving donors will develop and grow as our baby arrives. I recently spoke with our donor mom by phone for almost an hour and am honored for them to be involved. I know this is an emotional time for them as they will look into the eyes (a picture, anyway) of the child that they sacrificed to bring into initial existence and could have potentially been in their family. He really is loved by so many people already.
I won't be giving a play by play on here as things move a long for privacy reasons, but I will be very excited to share the birth announcement here for everyone who has held me up through support and prayers.
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Many prayers and excitement as I wait for your birth announcement!!!!
ReplyDeleteI like your attitude about making peace with the family and the practice - that's really healthy. Best wishes for an uneventful and normal delivery! It will all be worth it once you meet your baby. You're right - this is the baby you were meant to have. It's been a journey, and you're exactly where you are supposed to be. :) Congratulations.
ReplyDeleteSusan