Our conference call went well, and we are matched with two little embryos with Family C. This leaves us at a total of 5 embryos in the freezer (3 remaining from Family A, and 4 embryos in heaven, not be left out of the count).
I started l.upron tonight, so this update came just in time. Oh, how this all has tested my faith! I am a planner and do-er. To plan on a cycle without knowing until tonight that we are, indeed, matched, is against every grain in my body.
I still feel like I'm on the Bachelorette. It's the weirdest feeling to have two simultaneous relationships with the possibility of either, neither, or maybe even both families' embryos becoming our children. Maybe we'll have twins with Family A, or maybe just one kid. Or maybe no kids with Family A. Or maybe twins or a kid with Family C, or maybe just one kid. Or maybe no kids with Family C. Or maybe twins, one each from Family A and Family C. Maybe there is even a Family D out there we don't know about (Oh, I sure hope not!)?
In this mental chaos, I am humbled to know not one but two families have gladly donated their embryos for us to adopt. They have allowed us to have the opportunity to be parents with their tiny embryos that they went through IVF hell to have. They have graciously given us a gift I can't comprehend at times. They look at their children every day, genetic siblings to these embryos, and choose to bless us with the chance to experience what they have.
A lot of days I wish I wasn't in this place- I just want to have child the old-fashioned way without the medical and financial and ethical complications. But if I have to be in this place- and here I am- I am beyond blessed. To be matched. To be matched with two families. To be matched with two families who are selfless, thoughtful, supportive, warm, and open.
Maybe this is why nothing has worked out so far. Maybe we are supposed to be parents to one or more of these embryos (and maybe not; I have to prepare myself for either outcome). At least I know I meant to release some souls to heaven, so they aren't stuck in a freezer, because that has been accomplished, if nothing else.
So happy to hear it went well. This is very much a journey of faith. It has taught me so much about letting go and trusting God's timing. Learning this has made me a more relaxed person and mom, but learning this was not an easy journey. Blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteOh wow, so glad the call went well. Praying that this cycle has a happy outcome!!
ReplyDeleteYAY!!!!! I am so happy that it went well. I always tell myself that everything happens for a reason. Maybe perhaps Family C was meant to be. Good Luck, I think we will be on the same cycle or close to it.
ReplyDelete