Each month that passes, I feel I become more of a parent. Parents sacrifice for their kids and make decisions based on what is best for them. That has defined our lives since 2011 when we felt that for us and our potential future child(ren), it was important for us to not have biological kids together so our child(ren) would hopefully never have spinal fusion surgery or heel cords cut or have peoples' eyes dart to their legs and gait when they walk. That may not be the right decision for every family in our situation, but it was for us.
Since then, we have repeatedly disclosed every personal detail about our bodies, family history, and finances to doctors and adoption agencies. We've spent time, money, and effort on this process.
And those are just the kind of sacrifices you make for your children, once you're a parent.
We're simply starting a little early, and this prepares us for days of tighter finances, less free time, and opening our hearts wide open... things that will come for any parent. Nights spent at adoption trainings will become nights doing more laundry and helping with homework. Money spent on homestudies will become diapers and sports team registration. Gut wrenching decisions and heartache will become watching little one make bad choices or skin their knee.
For every couple with empty arms this weekend, don't feel ashamed to grieve. You're not alone! Nothing about this is fair or easy. Then, take the next step towards parenthood, whatever that looks like for you. Don't lose sight of the fact that your current struggles can prepare you to be a more prepared and appreciative parent.
Happy Mother's Day to ALL mothers, especially those who are mothers in their heart.
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