Chronicles of an Adoption: THESTUD

Friday, May 9, 2014

THESTUD

Like any typical day I go to the big city at rush hour, it's a rat race. Luckily, it kept my mind occupied. After all, there's no time to think about an ultrasound when everyone is slamming on their brakes because there is a car stopped on the shoulder (really, it's a requirement to drive in TN to go as slowly as you can and crane your neck to see what happened). Add in, then, approximately fifty rain drops falling from the sky and everyone forgets how to drive. "Turn signal? What's that?"

Much to my delight, part of my commute was with an intriguing man- "THESTUD". I was finally able to get up beside him, and thanks to my dark tinted windows, see who was behind the bold license plate without looking like a total creep. In my brief glance, he appeared to be hipster meets "Big Bang Theory" (in case he somehow happens upon this blog, not a diss). Not what I expected but a mystery that further occupied my uneasy mind and provided much needed comic relief.

Once I got to the clinic, I was dismayed to see what a presume to be a student nurse practitioner attempt to take my blood. She prodded my giant river of vein on my right arm proclaiming, "I don't really feel it". I vigorously squeezed the stress ball as instructed, hoping she would suddenly feel it. No such luck. Sensing my impending nervous breakdown, the strictly efficient phlebotomist standing nearby whipped the needle smoothly in with a smirk and drew up my blood.

I made my way to the exam room. As I laid on the table, I could feel my heart beating in my cheeks. "8 mm. Don't worry. Pray about everything. Give God thanks", I chanted silently to myself. The strictly efficient ultrasound tech did her thing and within 30 seconds said I had a "pretty lining" and assured me it was to the 8 mm standard, complete with triple stripes (apparently the best kind).

Whew.

A call with the clinic this afternoon confirmed my lining was 8.7, my estrogen level was 1,599, and that I am, in fact, DOING MY TRANSFER NEXT WEEK. Which brings two sound effects to mind...