I made it through work today, mostly unscathed. I didn't want to get out of my car when I pulled in the parking lot, but once I made myself get out & go in, I was okay. I was actually pretty productive and kept my composure.
Still, I am blunted to the world around me.
It takes so much effort to do anything.
My body feels heavy.
I am continuing to try to not overthink things....
But...
I felt tired and queasy today, so hopefully that's good.
But I put two and two together and realized the CRL measurements of my two ultrasounds are pitifully behind, especially the more recent one. So maybe that's foreboding.
All I know is I don't know anything at this point, so it is not helpful for me to brood and fret.
Thursday will bring answers.
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I am so, so sorry for all the agonizing wait that you're going through. I can't imagine how dreadful you must feel. Please, take good care of yourself! I am praying for you. Love, Kristin
ReplyDeletePraying for Strength for you. I have been in your position (albiet not donor) and I've gone through the uncertainty 5 times. the last time the uncertainty lasted for 8 weeks. HUGS!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWe had a somewhat similar situation. At 6 weeks there wasn't much to see and the doctor "thought" he saw a heartbeat of about 90bpm which is much slower than normal. he couldn't even measure our baby at that point whereas you could clearly see something. At 6w6d our baby's heartbeat was measuring 120bpm and was 5 days behind in measurement. Unfortunately a few days later they couldn't find a heartbeat after I started spotting and took a trip to the ER. At 7w6d my baby measured at only 6w1d.
ReplyDeleteWe elected to have a D&C so they could do testing and when I went in two days later the doctor gave me my last ultrasound and commented that he could see the placenta already breaking away from my uterus. I'm not saying this to be a Debbie Downer but to let you know that if your baby really didn't make it then you should be miscarrying by now. The fact that you aren't (to me) is very promising. One more day and you should have some answers. I'll keep you in my prayers