A Second Line Changes Everything

My bloodwork tomorrow will be a little anticlimactic. I've been in shock for two days.

I took a test Friday morning, and got a second line. I've never seen a second line. Instead of staring at a stark, white area next to the control line, a light pink line showed up.

What in the heck?!?

Tests yesterday and today showed the same second line, a little darker each day.

This might really be real.

I hoped this would happen, but part of me never expected it would, hence the shock.

I looked at the first test at least 20 times to make sure I didn't imagine it. 

Today the shock has been replaced by nervous excitement.

We hope to see a beta tomorrow of at least 100, if not more, and hope that doubles by by second bloodwork Wednesday.

Even if we have two strong betas tomorrow and Wednesday, there's still about a 20% chance of miscarriage before our first ultrasound around 6 weeks (in about 2 weeks). At 6 weeks, if there's a heartbeat that chance drops to 10%. The chance drops to less than 1% by 9 weeks.

Obviously, anything can happen after those marks. As anything can happen during pregnancy or childbirth or a child's life. There are no guarantees in life; our lives are but a vapor.

There's an 90% chance of having a baby if we can get through these betas and the first ultrasound. That's how I'm choosing to look at it. 

From deep in the recesses of my heart (from youth group circa 2002), the verse Psalm 46:1, "God is [my] refuge and [my] strength" has repeatedly calmed my spirit.

I have prayed if I were to become pregnant, that I would have symptoms to confirm to help ease my mind. I have had queasiness on and off since Wednesday (two days before the positive test). Not much food sounds good, and I can't eat too much. I feel pretty run down and tired, too. 

God willing, we will have a baby or babies in early April!

Praise God from Whom ALL blessings flow! 


[This should go without saying, but if you know me in real life, please do not put anything on Facebook].