Adoption Love Link-Up: October

How did you/will you chose to tell your child they are adopted, and how do you/will you celebrate this blessing with them? 

I'm a bit late in answering, but the l.upron is over and I can tell- my brain flows freely again! 

We're in an open match because it is important to us for our child to know their history and hopefully have understanding of why we've made the decisions we have (and why the genetic parents made the decisions they have). I don't want my child to ever feel ashamed or "less". They were/are very much loved and wanted by four adults, and embryo adoption (I hope) was just our story. 

Going along with our open match, we plan to be honest from infanthood. We are the parents but their genetic family played an integral part in their beginnings. I don't want them to remember having to learn their history through a sit down discussion one day. I want them to just "always know". Of course, as children meet developmental milestones they will come to new understandings. And this information may be "okay" or it may be challenging, and I'd like to address it, if it becomes challenging. 

How we will actually go about it? I plan to make developmentally appropriate photo books with our story. I would read it to the child from infancy. I will try to answer any questions as they come. We've already emailed and shared pictures with Family D. I hope that relationship can continue to grow and maybe in the future we can head out to the West coast to meet them. 

I realize an open relationship can't always be part of everyone's story. I don't want to put down another parent who did not or could not make this choice. I think the most important decision we can make as adoptive parents- be it embryo or infant- is to never hide the past. We have to be confident that our children will feel our love and that we will bond, regardless of genetics. However, our children deserve to know their history as much as we are able to give it to them. That will look different for different families, and that's ok.