Today is the first annual Embryo Adoption Awareness Day. What can I say about embryo adoption? I hope it will finally be the answer to many prayers and make us parents. Well, it has made us parents already, parents of our embryos and of our miscarried baby, but hopefully we will have a child that sticks around.
A common phrase for people unable to have kids is to "just adopt". I know firsthand there is nothing "just" about adopting. I think different forms of adoption are right for different families, but there are so many benefits to embryo adoption. There are hundreds of thousands of waiting embryos, frozen and unable to grow without being transferred. I do not fault genetic parents for stopping at a certain point, and this provision can be a huge blessing to so many others.
When I first heard of embryo adoption, I thought it must be really expensive. I thought IVF costs PLUS adoption costs. Which is true to an extent, but in the majority of situations, it's much more affordable than an IVF cycle and many adoptive situations (fostercare aside). Granted, we've paid quite a bit, but many others are successful on the first transfer. Many people opt for closed situations or matching independently which are often more affordable. It would have been a much bigger emotional and financial gamble to do IVF with donor sperm- I struggled to produce good follicles with IUIs... then to go through a fresh IVF cycle to end up potentially only a couple embryos- or maybe even none?!? And of course our adoption struggles are documented here. International is unstable in many countries; there are a lot of unethical things happening; and we don't meet many qualifications, either. Foster care was not a good option for us. And DIA (domestic infant adoption)... crickets, disappointments, and we didn't even get to the point of scams or failed matches.
So yes, we've been on the embryo adoption journey nearly a year. We've suffered a miscarriage. I've endured three transfers and all the medicine that comes with it. Our bank account has dwindled. Our relationship has been pushed to the limits. But we've allowed 9 embryos to have a chance at life, and I believe they're in heaven right now. They're not alone and stuck in a freezer. Their genetic families can have closure, too. And we still have two more inside me, results to be seen. I've been supported by people who began as strangers and have grown into friends. People from all over the country who understand my struggles and vice versa. We've had an outpouring of support from those in our lives- family, friends, coworkers, church family.
Embryo adoption has blessed my family, and I pray the journey's capstone will arrive soon!
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