For the past week and a half, I've just been trying to survive. Get through each day. Process my loss. It helps me, I think, that I anticipated the loss after the first bad ultrasound. I started disconnecting and mourning then. Now, I think I'm ready to move to the next phase. I'm still sad, and I know some days will be worse than others. But I don't want to be depressed. I want to heal. I want to look towards the future. I believe something good can still happen.
I started back on all my normal vitamins and supplements. I didn't feel like there was a point to bother taking them after the miscarriage was official. I finally feel I need to get my strength back up after two surgeries, blood loss, sudden drop in hormones, and the saddest loss of my life. I'm looking forward to getting back to walking and pilates, just in time for the cooler weather and fall leaves to arrive.
I am in between the loss of my first baby and the preparation to be healthy for my second (I hope).
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Hi Sara. Your post yesterday was so beautifully written and sad that I jumped on line first thing to see how you are doing. The in between place that you describe is a very hard place to live in. I'm cheering your you as your gather your strength and take those first steps down the road of your journey again. I believe your hopes will be realized. You will be a mama. Hope the fall leaves make you smile.
ReplyDeleteIt's comforting to know I'm not alone in this journey! I pray positive things happen for the both of us soon!
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