We found out this week that a specialist surgeon we were referred to by D's CMT specialist recommends that D have a pretty extensive foot surgery sooner rather than later. D sprained his ankle about a year and half ago and has been having problems ever since. Unfortunately the sprain was not the problem but a symptom of a bigger problem which is the way his foot is formed due to his disability.
The doctor hopes that by reconstructing the way some of the bones and tendons are, D can have better foot stability thus less pain and less prone to injuries. Not only that- but he is already getting damage to his ankle joint from the way he walks, and at 32, we need his ankle to last a lot longer! Neither of us were ever comfortable with the idea of an elective surgery- until it's gotten to the point it is now- that he can work and walk short distances easily but he has a lot of ankle pain walking more than 15 minutes, even with his custom brace.
Since we've spent close to our life savings on medical bills this year (hence met deductibles and tax claim in progress), and it's very clear there is no way around surgery if he wants to regain a more normal life, we've scheduled it to happen within the next few weeks.
It's overwhelming to think that potentially in the middle of my transfer cycle (if we can ever get matched with embryos and get a thumbs up to proceed), he will be in a casted up. We are putting our futures in the hands of two doctors- Dr. K and D's ortho specialist. It's scary to put so many eggs into two baskets. I hope the surgery works and doesn't bring complications. And I certainly hope the next transfer works. This has to be our season! It just has to be.
But this brings me back to the reason we are doing this (adoption, fertility treatments) in the first place. On long days, I think about how we could have a 50% chance of a healthy biological child. We could do things the old fashioned way (or try). But we closed that door, because we didn't want to knowingly give our child a hefty chance of exactly what D is going through. My love for a child that doesn't even exist is so great to avoid this at all costs. I don't want my child to have spinal fusion and a long, hard recovery like he has in the past, and I don't want them to get their foot reconstructed- if there is any way around it.
So future child, if your ever read this- we loved you before we knew you. And if we never have a child, that will be why- that we loved so much and nothing else worked out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Thank you for what you write. I read your blog every day and, although my heart aches for you, I am so happy that you are able to keep it in perspective that you're going through all this because of your deep, amazing love for your future child!
ReplyDeleteI, too, have a genetic mutation that I have a 50% chance of passing on to my child(ren). My husband and I are going through the process of deciding how we feel we are being called to grow our family and, at times, the thought of trying naturally and taking the chance comes up, but I keep being reminded of what we are going through right now in trying to decide and thinking about the time and money and emotional energy that will go into us having a family and I do not want my children to have to go through that (nor do i want my husband to have to watch both his wife and child(ren) possibly pass away in their early 50s...).
Sorry for rambling but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and that the words that you write here matter!
Thanks for sharing. I hadn't even considered that part of it- the kids' own family planning difficulties. Just one more reason for me to add to my list of why this is important. Thanks again, and good luck with your decision. It's not an easy one!
ReplyDeleteHi Sara, sending you prayers and mental support as you line up your husband's surgery and plan your next embryo transfer. I am praying that this is your season, too. It will be. Your future baby is so lucky that it's mama and papa cared so much for it - even before it was born.
ReplyDelete